I wish I could teleport
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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