what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
