I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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