Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
