Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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