did you get engaged???
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
