i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
