Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
