Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
