It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
