I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
