What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
did i just pee glitter
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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