My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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