Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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