Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
