ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
