Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
