I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
