i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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