ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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