It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
