Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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