the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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