If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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