We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize