Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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