It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
