So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
