I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i drank out of a bidet.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
