In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
