Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
