she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
