I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
