I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
