Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
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