We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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