i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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