just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
