Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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