I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
