based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
