I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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