It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
