Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
