My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
