Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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