Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Randomize
