I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
