Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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