So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
