currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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