Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
