Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
