So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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