$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
