bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
