I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
