her vagine was all disorganized.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
