You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
