I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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