Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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