Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
