We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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