the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I cannot find my penis.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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