we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize